Trump Calms World By Assuring Nothing Bad Has Ever Happened After Dictator Invades Poland

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump calmed an anxious world today with assurances that nothing bad has ever happened in the wake of a vicious dictator invading Poland. With news breaking overnight that NATO fighter jets had been scrambled to intercept Russian drones entering Poland's airspace, Trump sought to remind everyone that, historically speaking, invasions of Poland have turned out just fine. "It's not a big deal, dictators invading Poland, nothing to be alarmed about," said Trump. "Nothing major has ever come of it. It's just Poland, after all. Not much happening there, believe me, just sausages and Catholics. It will...