Seat sliding is the ‘awkward’ commuter habit that people are divided on

Faux pas or polite? (Picture: Shutterstock / Matthew Ashmore)

It’s the ultimate silent dilemma of the morning commute.

You’re wedged shoulder-to-shoulder with a stranger on a packed train, staring intently at your phone to avoid accidental eye contact.

Then, a miracle happens: someone gets off, leaving a double seat wide open across the aisle.

Do you make a break for personal space, or do you stay put out of sheer British politeness to avoid making your seatmate feel like a biohazard?

Plus, what if more people get on at the next stop and sit next to you? Then you’ve put yourself in that awkward situation for nothing.

Coined by Metro, ‘Seat Sliders’ describes commuters who perform a subtle, tactical shuffle across the carriage the second an alternative spot opens up.

No one likes being squashed on public transport (Picture: carstenbrandt/ Getty Images)

What do commuters say?

Metro asked commuters for their take on the unspoken rule, and it turns out personal space preferences vary dramatically.

‘I usually move, mainly to give the other person more room,’ says writer and communications officer, Rosie Mullender, 48. ‘If I’m settled in, I won’t bother though – they can always move if they want to.’

But interior architect Ellora Coup, 48, who takes the Tube often, says ‘it’s an absolute given’ that she’d shift.

Business owner, Tatjana Teapro, 36, admits to seat sliding on her Elizabeth line commute. ‘It has happened once that someone next to me smelled really bad, so I had to move as soon as another seat became available,’ she tells Metro. ‘I actually felt bad doing it, but in the end I thought, why torture myself for no reason?’

But journalist Hilary Freeman, 55, who takes the Tube five days a week, says she ‘never’ moves. ‘I talk to people on public transport too,’ she adds, sharing that she has met lovely people on public transport, including a woman who gave her tissues when she was upset and stayed with her.

Over on TikTok, viewers were also divided. ‘I always stay because I don’t want them to feel bad,’ said @xx.evy.x, and @motime27 agreed, saying: ‘I stay, seems rude to move.’

But @trophypop_chimed in with: ‘I’m team “move as soon as a seat frees up” and am more offended if someone stays sitting next to me when it’s not necessary.’

@thepokeparadox called it being ‘Stuck in choice paralysis mixed with social anxiety’.

What do the experts say?

‘The seat slide is never rude and, more often than not, a most gracious gesture. Like all things related to etiquette, context is everything,’ Rupert Wesson, of Debrett’s etiquette training, tells Metro.

‘When it comes to travel, it is always nice to have a little bit more space and, in these post-Covid times, many people welcome it for health reasons.’

So, how do you do it well?

‘There is no need to explain the move to your fellow travellers; why disturb them? Just slip discreetly away,’ the etiquette expert recommends.

‘There is always a chance that your move may be confounded when all the seats fill up with oncoming passengers. This should not alter the fact that your intentions were good and it was the right thing to do.

‘If on your next bus or train, you find people moving away from you at the first opportunity, please don’t take it personally. It may not be your perfume, aftershave or deodorant; your fellow passenger is probably just showing you a little courtesy, and for that you can be grateful.’

Hygiene is another factor, etiquette expert Rupert says (Picture: coldsnowstorm/ Getty Images)

It is a sentiment the ‘Queen of etiquette’ Laura Windsor agrees with, explaining that it’s not the move itself, but how it is done.

‘I don’t think anyone even notices,’ she says. We’re not sitting there monitoring each other’s manners; people simply do what suits them. If a seat frees up and you’d rather take it, no one is forcing you to stay put.’

‘What does matter is how you move,’ Laura emphasises.

‘A sigh, a tut, a slightly aggressive shift away — that’s where it may be perceived as rather rude, because now your body language is sending a message to the person you’re leaving behind.’

In other words: moving seats is usually fine; making someone feel like the reason you moved is what creates the awkwardness.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk

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