The ice isn't the only arena making streamers horny for storytelling. Between Heated Rivalryand Off Campus, hockey has been mined so thoroughly that the open water is now auditioning for its turn. Crew Girl, Netflix's newest teen soap, has all the predictable trappings: excessive voiceover narration, quiet luxury, and love interests with abs you could grate Parmesan on. It's squeezing eight episodes of drama out of a different, though just as niche, school sport, and that's the action that actually works. Crew Girl is cheesier than its competition, with a weaker love triangle and rougher performances — but, oddly enough, the rowing itself is good. In fact, it might be the only thing keeping the season from completely sinking.
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