My ex-husband calls me crazy – but after what he’s done to me, you would be to

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From Britney to Beyonce, being ‘crazy in love’ is a concept we’re all familiar with.

But this week, our reader is full of shame, after acting out of character, when she discovered her husband was still cheating.

She’d finally managed to rebuild her life after her husband of seven years left her for another woman.

But just when she was finally getting back on her feet, he showed up at her front door, begging for a second chance.

Unfortunately, his desperate desire to ‘start over’ turned out to be nothing more than a false promise.

Keep reading to find out more, but before you go, check out last week’s dilemma, from a woman whose affair with a married man has become more hassle than it’s worth.

The problem…

At the start of the year my husband left me for a woman at his work, which absolutely devastated me. We’d been married for seven years and were talking about having children when all of a sudden, he dropped the bombshell that he was in love with someone else.

I felt so unlovable and worthless, but with the help of friends and family, I managed to get through this dreadful time.

I was just getting back on my feet when in May, he asked if he could come back to me. He said he’d made a terrible mistake and that he was truly sorry and wanted to start over.

Everyone was against the idea, but I still loved him so agreed to try again.

For a few months we seemed very happy, but then in August I discovered he was still cheating with the same woman. I subsequently learned that she’d never really gone away, and they were meeting up in secret.

He decided to go back to her, saying he was sorry for messing me around, and that this time he wouldn’t return. I can’t put into words just how much this destroyed me.

Stupidly, I found out where she lives and one night a few weeks ago, I went round there horribly drunk and completely lost it. I stood outside her house screaming obscenities, and I keyed her fancy car which was on the drive.

The pair of them ran out and started yelling at me, with her threatening to call the police and him saying I was unstable and crazy. He told her he’d pay for the damage and not to involve the law.

Since then, he’s told everyone I’m nuts which I’m beginning to think I am. Despite all this, I still love him.

The advice

Poor you, what a lot to go through.

Please don’t let his awful behaviour drive you to do crazy things; he’s honestly not worth getting into trouble over.

I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but your life will be so much better without this guy in it. You forgave him once and although you couldn’t salvage your relationship, think positively about that experience.

You discovered once and for all how selfish and untrustworthy he is; certainly not the kind of person you want to have children with.

When you put so many years into a relationship it’s hard to let it go, but let it go you must. Keep reminding yourself that he’s not the man for you and ask your friends and family to reinforce the message. I bet they’ll have a few choice things to say about him, which might be good for you to hear.

Ignore it if you learn that he’s going round saying you’re crazy. It will soon become an old story, and most people will understand why you had a meltdown. Just promise yourself you won’t do anything similar again.

It’s vital that you look after your mental health, so ask your GP to refer you for some talking therapy while you go through this difficult time.

Laura is a counsellor and columnist.

Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk.

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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk

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