It’s hard to explain why some stories ring true on soaps while others make us roll our eyes, but we know the difference. Most of the time, we’re open: Bring it.
Liam wanting Hope back on Bold and Beautiful? Totally believable. He’s been flailing since their break-up two years ago after he spied her kissing Thomas in Rome. When you stack that smooch up against all the times Liam chose Steffy over Hope (the tattoo, the gondola, etc.), Hope’s indiscretion pales in comparison.
Liam gets that now.
Liam: “I know what I want. It’s you and our family.”
Hope: “I am engaged to Carter. My feelings for you are very real, but Carter wants to build a life with me.”
Liam: “You made a commitment because I pushed you to do it. I thought I wasn’t going to be around. But that’s not the case anymore. I want to live my life with you.”
They share a daughter and were a cute couple, but to quote Bill, it was “pretty ballsy” for Liam to plead his case while Hope was sporting Carter’s diamond on her left hand. May the best man win.
Conversely, the Luna story is preposterous. She murdered two people (and kidnapped, drugged, and tried to murder Steffy), went to jail, got pardoned, kidnapped Steffy again, shot Liam who shot her back, “died” in the hospital, was secretly saved by her grandma Li and spirited into a private room, recovered, got her hair and makeup done, found a disguise, drugged Will, and had sex with him.
Luna: “Will was out of it, but not too out of it.”
Sheila: “Will thought he was with Electra.”
Luna: “I gave Will what he’s been wanting.”
To be drugged and tricked into having sex with a murderer he hates? Setting aside the disturbing rape overtones of this eye-rolling tale, it’s one implausible event after another.
Li (entering the secret room): “Who’s on the phone?”
Luna: “It’s just a burner phone, nothing to worry about.”
Except where a “dead” fugitive could have gotten her hands on a burner phone. Naturally, Luna used the phone to send a love note to Will from his “secret admirer.” Katie is the voice of reason here, pointing out to her son that whoever he drunkenly slept with took advantage of him, and it’s not okay.
Li tries to be a voice of reason by disciplining her criminal granddaughter, but her belief that Poppy’s loose morals are to blame for Luna’s crimes is misplaced. Shine that light on Luna’s biological grandmother, Sheila, who has a looooong history of criming.
Li (to Luna): “You should reform yourself, so you won’t end up like your mother.”
I’ll take a loose hippie popping hallucinogenic mints over a known arsonist/murderer who left Finn and Steffy for dead in an alley any day. The only safe place for Luna is the cage she locked Steffy in… get on that, Li!
Speaking of cages, who loves the irony of Days of Our Lives’s Kristen stealing embryos, stabbing Victor, kidnapping Marlena and Sarah, impersonating Salem’s A-listers, etc., and getting off scot-free — and then going to jail for a crime she didn’t commit?
Kristen: “Brady is going to hate me for this, but if I can help my daughter, it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.”
Marlena: “It’s going to be traumatic for Rachel to ‘realize’ you shot EJ.”
Kristen: “Not as traumatic as the truth.”
The truth is that Rachel shot EJ and blocked it out, so her mom is covering for her. I buy it because DAYS’s go-to is outlandish stories (Stefano, Rolf, Orpheus, The Orchid, The Gemini Twins, Melaswan, burying people alive, the devil), so nutbag Kristen covering for her nutbag daughter is actually tame by comparison. Where DAYS runs into trouble is with stories closer to real life, like Belle and EJ sleeping together during the court case that resulted in Kristen’s false confession. The duo were opposing counsel, the defendant was EJ’s son and Belle’s nephew, and the witnesses were all related to one (or all!) of them.
DAYS also didn’t do themselves any favors moving the initially entertaining Heart and Soul to Salem and casting it with know-nothing producers, writers, directors, and non-actors, since that is the one subject viewers were guaranteed to know a lot about.
Young and Restless went to Nice to launch The Cane Show, trap Genoa City’s biggest names for weeks, and kill a core character (bye, Chance). The story points didn’t add up, but using Audra’s failed attempt to seduce Kyle (at Victor’s behest) to up the ante in her battle against the Newmans and Abbotts rings true.
Jack: “Audra is not remorseful; she’s emboldened.”
Claire telling Nate about Audra’s willingness to cheat on him caused Nate to dump her, which was also believable.
Audra: “Little Miss Claire wants to go to war? War it is.”
Sudden children like Claire are a soap staple, so we’re used to it (even though it’s always far-fetched). Beyond the Gates’s twist that Leslie is Barbara’s daughter was easier to buy because the show is new, and they didn’t have to undo a lot of history. Leslie’s a loose cannon, too, so when her estranged mother showed up with the news that the late Barbara had given birth to her, it wasn’t hard to believe.
Peaches (to Leslie): “You’re about to go from a have-not to having it all.”
The reveal juiced Leslie’s battle with the Duprees, adding dramatic irony to Anita having funded a trust out of guilt over Barbara’s suicide and then learning the recipient was her family’s worst enemy.
Anita (to Leslie re: Barbara): “The woman I knew would be ashamed of you.”
The only person giving Leslie grace is her ex-lover, Ted, whose marriage she ruined. His regret was that Leslie didn’t get the money sooner because then maybe she wouldn’t have kept his daughter from him for so long.
Ted: “No Leslie would have meant no Eva.”
Bill: “Damn. You forgive with the same energy I hold a grudge.”
That’s a good line.
Which brings us to General Hospital, which has been chock full of good lines lately, mostly surrounding bad Ric, very bad Drew, and the previously-dead Jason coming upon the presumed-dead Britt in Croatia.
Britt: “You go first. How did you survive?”
Poking fun at the back-from-the-dead soap trope works; two people comparing notes on how they came back to life is funny. Jason explained he faked his death and became an informant to save Carly, which made Britt so mad she wouldn’t share her resurrection story. Jason then told her she’s in danger, but he can save her.
Britt: “Put away your cape.”
Back home, everyone was making threats against Drew (cue the whodunnit!) while Ric was arguing himself into a locked room. It began with him rightly calling BS on Kristina when she listed all the reasons she snapped and cut his brake lines (thinking they were Ava’s). Her baby died, she lost Sam, her brother was burned, blah blah.
Ric: “Molly also loves Michael, also lost a sister, and that baby that died was also Molly’s, not that you ever acknowledged it. You acted like the grief was yours alone. You were so selfish, you couldn’t consider what Molly and TJ were going through after you tried to steal her child.”
Enter Ava to bust Ric for stealing the money they blackmailed Alexis into giving them to cover Kristina’s crimes. Ric was all tough noogies, it’s in 30-day treasury bonds, so Ava clocked him and blackmailed Alexis into not calling the cops because of the dirt she’s got on Kristina.
Ava: “If I go down, she goes down.”
And that’s how Ric woke up strapped to a bed in a basement while the ladies wait for the bonds to mature so they can take back the money.
Ric: “You can’t keep me locked down here, it’s inhumane.”
Alexis: “Didn’t you do that to Carly?”
(Thumbs up for acknowledging history! Okay, carry on.)
Ric: “You’re better than me.”
Alexis: “Am I? Because of you, I embezzled millions of dollars, and we are all going down this slippery slope.”
Allowing for the implausibility of Ric going the next 30 days without a bathroom (!), everything else about this slippery slope rings true. Bring. It.
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
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