Is life really better inside the ‘London Banana’?

Are these parts of London the top banana? Here’s one author’s vision of the best parts of London – allegedly
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It’s chilling to think that so much about life in London could be dictated by a 25-mile-long banana.

No, there isn’t a bizarre mutant fruit coup threatening to overthrow Sir Sadiq Khan. We’re talking about something far more insidious.

Last week, an author named Saul Sadka drew a big yellow-tinged blob over a map of the capital and posted the picture on X, declaring it the ‘London Banana’.

If you’re inside the Banana, ‘you’ll have a great time,’ he wrote. But by contrast, ‘almost everything outside the Banana is horrible these days’.

Pretty stark. Since the map went up online, it’s sparked hot debate among Londoners.

Loyalists point out the effect appears to be visible in statistics from house prices to crime rates. Sceptics take (understandable) offence at the idea that the only things worth seeing and doing fall within the bananular zone.

Where does ‘the London Banana’ miss out?

To get a sense of how accurate the map might be, Metro travelled to one of the areas that controversially missed out on the warm embrace of the Banana: beautiful leafy Greenwich.

Greenwich, which is home to many of London’s tourist destinations including the Cutty Sark and the Naval College, was not included in the banana (Picture: Lucy North/PA Wire)

Tourists, residents and workers in the historic area – home to the Maritime Museum, Observatory and Cutty Sark, as well as riverside pubs and restaurants – branded the decision to leave it out ‘absurd’.

Fabien Schmidt, a visitor from Germany, said: ‘It’s one of the most interesting places we have visited in London. We took a boat from Westminster pier to here and are visiting Cutty Sark.

‘We will also go to the museum and there is a famous pub where we will eat. I think it’s absurd to say it’s not one of the best places.’

Kerry Latham, 24, was brought up in the area. She told Metro: ‘Greenwich is great for young people. There are brilliant restaurants and loads of pubs and it’s buzzing with tourists.

‘Has the guy who did this map been here? I doubt it.’

Cutty Sark volunteer Malcolm Tarling, 66, shared Kerry and Fabien’s bafflement at the exclusion.

Malcolm Tarling, who volunteers to help out at the Cutty Sark tourist attraction says Greenwich should be in the ‘banana’ (Picture: John Dunne/Metro)

He said: ‘Of course if you live here there are crime rates and other indicators to take into account, but I can’t believe it’s outside the areas described as desirable on the map.

‘It’s a wonderful place with excellent transport links.’

Greenwich is also home to one of London’s much-loved Royal Parks – but this marks it as an outlier.

All seven of the other Royal Parks in the city – Hyde Park, Kensington Gardens, Bushy Park, Richmond Park, Green Park, St James’ Park and Regent’s Park – fall within the Banana.

Hyde Park did manage to make the cut for the London Banana – to the delight of tourists everywhere (Picture: Jonathan Brady/PA Wire)

Graeme Thomas, the executive secretary of Kensington & Chelsea Rotary Club, suggested these parks were a strong argument in favour of the map: ‘People want to be by greenery and pleasant views, and the closer they get the more expensive the houses get.’

However, he argued it wasn’t all about affluence in his area, telling Metro: ‘It’s actually chalk and cheese – you’ve got the cheese in Kensington where the rich people live and the people who are more down to earth in Chelsea, particularly in World’s End.’

As for the people outside the banana: ‘A nice way of saying it is that the people who live in those areas do the service work that keep the other parts of London working.’

One place that might disagree with that notion is Dulwich in south-east London, where you’ll find streets lined with upmarket cafes, boutiques and wine merchants.

Leafy Dulwich has also been left out of the ‘banana’ (Picture: John Dunne/Metro)

Jessica Tomlinson, a resident of the area for more than 40 years, said: ‘If Dulwich isn’t on this “banana” it makes a mockery of the map. It’s always been nice here but if anything it’s getting more expensive and upmarket.

‘If this map does not brand Dulwich as a desired area then it’s off the mark.’

Amid all the human bickering, there’s an alternative point of view which demonstrates the fallacy of drawing a big blob over London to imply some bits are better than others.

Helen Rogers is the owner of Highgate Honey, which runs 50 beehives in ten areas across north London. The business is based inside the Banana, but the hives stretch from Wembley in the west to Epping Forest in the east.

(Cartoon: Guy Venables/Metro)

She said: ‘Bees fly three or four miles outside their hive so they’d leave [the Banana] immediately. They forage for greenery and London is blessed with green areas.

‘I’ve got hives in Wembley that produce rich, Himalayan balsam honey. It’s a plant that flowers in August time. The banks of Brent reservoir are full of it.

‘You can contrast that with the hive in Epping Forest, where I get beautiful oak honeydew honey and pale borage honey, which is almost white in colour and a light sweet flavour.

‘The stuff I get from Highgate, we’ve got a lot of lime trees and tree of heaven trees which give this incredible peachy, lychee flavoured honey.’

Helen added: ‘The point I’m making is, just like people’s experience of London, bees’ experience of London varies from area to area.

‘They all have their pros and cons, but there are no awful areas – apart from the City, where there’s not much green space.’

To bees at least, the whole of the city may as well be one big Banana. And we can all see the appeal in that.

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