Gareth Thomas nearly lost friends to chemsex now rugby star wants to save lives

Gareth Thomas says society needs to have honest conversations about chemsex (Picture: @Gomezdevillaboa)

Rugby legend Gareth Thomas has launched a new campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of chemsex and drug misuse in the LGBTQ+ community.

The Wales captain wants to help end the stigma surrounding sexualised drug use after seeing two close friends severely affected by it.

The Office for National Statistics revealed in January that lesbian, gay and bisexual people are nearly three times more likely to die from drug-related cause than their straight counterparts.

Speaking to Metro ahead of the campaign’s launch, Thomas said it was time for the whole of society to shine a spotlight on the uncomfortable topic of chemsex.

Thomas sat down with leading LGBTQ+ voices on mental health to launch the campaign.
(left to right) top row: Marc Svensson, Paris Lee, Jake O’Dwyer. bottom row: Jaron Soh, Gareth Thomas, Kaiden Ford (Picture: @Gomezdevillaboa)

He said: ‘This is unbelievably underground and not spoken about because there is a fear of being stigmatized.

‘As shocking as those figures are, the reality is probably ten times worse.

‘If we were talking about something that is more acceptable in society like smoking, cigarette, cancer, that would be headline news.

‘The root of this problem is shame, loneliness, isolation and just wanting to be loved.’

Chemsex, which is also called party and play or wired play, involves using drugs, typically illegal psychoactive substances, to enhance sex.

The practice brings with it a risk of life-threatening overdoses, increased chances of acquiring HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, as well as depression, anxiety, weight loss and paranoia.

LGBTQ+ charity You Are Loved and social networking app Grindr have today kickstarted a new campaign – with Thomas at the helm – to ‘break the silence’ around drug use and mental health challenges.

Their research, conducted through Grindr’s dating platform, revealed that more than a quarter of respondents had sex while using drugs.

One in five of surveyed members of the LGBTQ+ community said they had lost someone to a drug-related death.

Health experts have been sounding the alarm over the use of chems in sex for years (Picture: Matt Hunt/NurPhoto)

Thomas, who became the first active professional rugby player to come out as gay, said he was close to being part of that statistic.

The athlete, who hasn’t engaged in chemsex himself, said: ‘I stood at the side of my mate’s bed when he was unconscious for forty-eight hours.

‘They experienced the damage this subject can do. But people in this community do not know enough about it.’

Research from Grindr and You Are Loved reveals that loneliness, a lack of safe spaces, pressure within the gay community, and cultural norms around sex were the leading drivers for LGBTQ+ people to engage in chemsex.

Thomas said discrimination still running rampant in our society is part of the problem.

He explained: ‘I’ve closed my eyes and wished I wasn’t here.

‘This is an easier way of escaping, without the pain that comes of leaving your mother and father standing at a graveside.

‘This is a way of me feeling like you actually belong to someone and are emotionally connected.

‘We are still fighting as a community to stay where we are. We might be in a better place than the seventies or eighties but that doesn’t mean we are in a good place.’

Thomas won 100 caps for Wales and three for the Lions during his playing days which saw him play for Bridgend, Cardiff, Toulouse and Cardiff Blues.

Thomas made history as the the first active professional rugby player to come out as gay (Picture: Stu Forster/Getty Images)

He ended his career with Welsh rugby league side Crusaders before retiring in 2011.

In 2019, he revealed on Twitter that he had HIV, saying he wanted to end the stigma around it.

He now wants to do the same with chemsex by promoting open conversation around it.

‘It is uncomfortable as hell, but life is uncomfortable,’ the ex-Rugby captain said.

He added: ‘What I’ve learned, and if I could have my time again with my friend, would be just to start a conversation.

‘Just start a simple dialogue, a conversation. I would very politely, very kindly empathetically open the door and say, “Whenever you wanna walk through, you walk through.’

To launch the campaign, Thomas sat down with expert voices from You Are Loved, the LGBTQIA+ helpline Switchboard, and mental wellbeing resource app Voda, alongside individuals with lived experience. 

As part of today’s campaign the Grindr’s app, which is used by millions of people every day, will signpost to support from You Are Loved and Switchboard.

Jake O’Dwyer, Head of Fundraising & Communications at the Switchboard listening service, told Metro that 20% of the conversations they had with callers were around the themes of mental health.

This is backed up by research from Grindr and You Are Loved, which shows that 61 per cent of the wider UK public are unfamiliar with the term.

Jake O’Dwyer said it was crucial to remove shame around chemsex (Picture: @Gomezdevillaboa)

O’Dwyer added: ‘One of the biggest takeaways for me is there are so many people who are engaging in sexualized substance abuse who don’t identify with the term chemsex.

‘Our job is to help facilitate conversations on Chemsex and remove shame.

‘It is about ensuring people have safe spaces in which they are able to explore in a non-judgemental way.’

The Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, which makes recommendations to the government on otherwise harmful drugs, is currently reviewing the evidence of drug use in LGBT+ communities and in the context of chemsex in the UK.

The report aims to identify measures which can be taken to reduce the impact of drugs harms amongst these communities.

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