Congress Preemptively Holds State Funeral For Mitch McConnell

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress held a preemptive state funeral honoring Senator Mitch McConnell on Friday, as the Senate sergeant-at-arms had him lie in state, "just in case." The atmosphere in the nation's capital was somber this week as speakers from both sides of the aisle spoke about McConnell's undying commitment to Democracy, a commitment, they say, won't let him die. "Might as well get it out of the way now," said Senate Majority Leader John Thune, "We all saw him 'come back to work' this week, but let's be honest... he's just running on fumes here. That's why I was...