15th Subway Victim this Year [semi-satire]

In New York City the total number of individuals pushed onto subway tracks this year has reached 15. The victim in the most recent incident is a 70-year-old woman. Career criminal Zaki Smith was arrested for felony assault. Smith has 14 previous arrests and was on parole after serving four years in Sing Sing prison for a prior felony assault. Saritha Komatireddy, a Republican candidate for New York State Attorney General, said that "this is the fifteenth time someone was pushed onto the subway tracks this year. A 70-year-old woman was just shoved by a stranger who walked up behind...